The Awesomest Qwarktastic Interview!
by Qwark Confusion TM
Summary: Ever a question you wanted to ask the Ratchet and Clank gang? Well, Qwark is giving you the opportunity to do so! R&R, please!


[Ratchet and Clank are sitting on their couch in Metropolis, Kerwan, watching Holovision.]

Qwark: *creeps up slowly behind the Lombax and tiny robot, a cheap camera in hand* Psst!

Ratchet: *jumps a bit and turns sharply* What the hell do you want, Qwark? *points confusedly at the camera* And what are you doing with that?

Qwark: *stands up taller, looking proud* I, the great Captain Qwark, am using this, *holds camera up higher* to interview my fellow heroes and sidekicks. *adds less enthusiastically* As well as some other random people we happen to know.

Ratchet: *flicks an ear* Okay... Just don't break it.

Clank: Um, Ratchet, I believe we would be included in this... interview.

Qwark: *nods enthusiastically and points the camera at Ratchet, stepping closer to him* You're first, buddy!

Ratchet: *backs away* Doesn't that thing have a zoom button? You don't have to be that close to my face!

[As Qwark lowers the camera to inspect it, Ratchet quickly dives behind the nearest cover; a tower of unopened boxes of bolts.]

Qwark: Huh, so it does. *clicks button and looks up* Hey, where'd he go? *shrugs, then thrusts the camera at Clank, still unnervingly close* Well, how about you, then?

Clank: *takes a small step back* ...You have not given me a question to answer.

Qwark: ...Oh, right, a question. *pauses, then pulls out a childish looking cell phone* Well, how about I post my cell phone number on the internet? Then our fans can ask us the questions! *pulls out a laptop and begins typing furiously*

Clank: Qwark, I do not think that is such a good idea...

Qwark: *ignores the question* There! It's done! And now we wait. *leans against the boxes of bolts, causing them to tumble*

Ratchet: Augh! *boxes fall on him, pushing him into view* Qwark! *pauses* What the... Does that phone have a picture of Ace Hardlight on it?

Qwark: *sits up excitedly* Yeah, it does! It was on sale for 95% off the original price! *hugs it*

Ratchet: ...Even if it was on sale, I still wouldn't buy that piece of junk.

Qwark: *pulls the phone away from him, beginning to stare at it in expectancy*

Clank: *facepalms*

Ratchet: ... Maybe you should do an intro. I mean, you wagging the camera in my and Clank's faces isn't exactly going to attract viewers... *mutters* I can't believe that I'm feeding the flames here...

Qwark: *eyes light up* Ravishing idea! Ahem... *draws the camera away from himself and points the lens at him with Ratchet and Clank in the background* Welcome to The Awesomest Qwarktastic Interview! I am your host, Captain Copernicus Qwark, and I will be answering your questions! Just send them to 1-800-IAMAWESOME! You will get to ask ME and... eh, those other two guys I suppose, anything that may be tickling at your brain! Don't wait! Send them here! ... Please?

Clank: *sighs* I expect we will receive more prank calls than legitimate questions...

Ratchet: *snickers* Hey, it's not my phone, so I'm not complaining.

Clank: *shrugs* I suppose you are correct. However, we are now part of this "interview", meaning we will be part of the pranked party.

Ratchet: *thinks for a moment* I got my Blaster. We can scare them. *rubs his hands together*

Clank: *stares at him, mouth slightly agape* ...You are planning on scaring them with a Blaster... through the phone...

Ratchet: *looks back at him, raising a brow* What? It would be funny.

Clank: *sighs* Whatever you say, Ratchet.

* * *

Hello, readers! So, this fic is unique, in that it's co-written by two authors who are familiar to fanfiction, Lomcat93 and Goodnight little everything. Basically, it's an interview fic which includes many characters from R&C, with Qwark as the director. **This fic is review dependent; if we don't receive reviews, we won't update.** Simple.

GLE (goodnight little everything; that's how I will be called for short throughout this fic and other ones posted on this account) here to add: remember, this fic is driven by reviews! Review, review, review! Even if the question is, "You suck!" we'll take it! It's only entertaining if you join in the fun.

Also, expect more stuff from us than just this in the future. It's nice to work on full projects for a change.


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